Noodle Queen

Well the weekend has come and gone, and I'm long overdue for an update. Friday I went to the best dinner party imaginable...it was italian themed - even the menu was in italian. We all had a blast. Poor Christine had to eat everything that I ordered and cursed me for screwing up 'napkin' and 'spoon' on my ordering. Okay, sorry...I don't know italian. Sue me...or break my legs, or something. *Hides from Christina*

Saturday I worked early, which was nice. I was done by 1:30 and got to beat most of the rush for the day. Came home and cleaned up and relaxed...it was nice. Joshua came over and we watched the pilot of Firefly, one of my new favorite shows. *Drools* Too bad it was cancelled. After Josh went to work I picked up Jessica and we hung out, made dinner and went off to Desire. Lots of dancing and lots of fun - but I was definitely feeling tired after. Came back to my place and crashed. Busy Saturday.

Sunday was uber lazy, and uber relaxing. Went to Dim Sum and had the best time ever. Jessica and I were thwarted by the Noodle Queen, which resulted in us spending almost $40 on Dim Sum. Heather would be proud. Noodles, Shark Fin, Dumplings, Calimari...mmmm, all very good. Apparently the Noodle Queen is a 'medium dish' (you had to be there...). Ah, *sigh*, good memories. Came home after that, moved some furniture and ended up crashing while watching DVDs.

All in all...a good weekend.

Now, unfortunately, I'm sick. Monday was payback for the great weekend, a massive ear infection hit. It hurt like hell and I felt like I was about to die. Luckily the pain has passed - now I'm just deaf. If you see me...talk to me on my right side. :-) Seniors Day is going to be so much fun now that I'm going to be as deaf as the old folks. Boy oh boy what fun and excitement.

The week is half over...I can't wait until my week off...

Migraine

Oh the pain. My back and neck has been one big knot today, which has lead to a splitting headache...and what better then a migraine but an ill stomach as well. Great.

I had a nice day off. Had some friends over, went for drinks with Jessica at Boston Pizza. It's been good...lots of fun. I think I've needed it. Now if only I could clear my head and get rid of some of this pain.

I'm not looking forward to getting up in four hours to pick up my father and then going to go work for 8 hours. Fun times. Oh well, I guess I should get some sleep...

I did a quick update of the Winter '05 Album - you can find some pictures from a few socials I've attended recently. Yay for more pictures! G'night everyone!

One Down

One week down, many more to go.

Life has been bearable lately. I had a fun weekend. Friday I had the games night with Kimberley and Scott, which was a blast (yay for another night tomorrow!) and Saturday Jessica and I had a night out on the town. We got ready at my place and after some minor disasters with her hair and a foreign substance known as hairspray, we were ready.

Christina, Jessica and I began by going to a wedding social near work. A friend of ours (Adam) invited us to his brother's wedding social. We had fun dancing (despite some of the more unique song selections), had a chance to hang out with Liam and Adam...and even saw Ty and Shawn. Yay. :-) I even bought my two ladies drinks...and was called "Smooth" by the girl selling drink tickets. If only she knew.

Jackie met us and we dropped Christina off and went to Desire where we met up with Crystal and her friend from Highschool (who Jessica knew). Lots of dancing (and lots of alcohol, mostly on Crystal's part). It was a fun night. "God save the Queen" - worst drag queen ever. T'was a fun night.

Sunday was...well, sore. I'm not doing Variety (regularily) anymore, so I don't have to worry about the early Mondays, which is good. I work 4.5 hours on Customer Appreciation Day today - as if they actually expect me to appreciate customers. Bah! Oh! I ordered Firefly and the Chronicles on DVD. Woot! Life might just be looking up...

Symphonia

My day began with my manager offering me psychological help. Great, just great. Yes, I would just love to bitch about all my problems to some complete stranger...not. No, thank you. A person eventually comes to a point in their life when they realize that complaining does squat and only through positive actions can they improve themselves and their lives. I've arrived at that point.

This week has been hellish, but only because I jinxed it all with my last journal entry in February. My own fault really - snow storms, exploding batteries, being late to work. Things seem to be spirally out of control...but I'm still fighting it tooth and claw.

Jessica and I should have a great night tomorrow. We're going to a social with Christina and are meeting Jackie and Crystal later. Should be a fun night. Yay. I work at 2:00, which isn't bad...

Tonight was fun. Kimberley, Scott and I spent four hours playing Tales of Symphonia. Best. Game. Ever. I'm quite serious...I had a blast playing it again. The night's highlight was our encounter with a rather interesting looking woman in Sev. We didn't have a lot of nice things to say about her dead coat, unique look or the Sanoma Truck in the parking lot. "Yikes." I thought I was going to choke on my slurpee and die right there. Yikes indeed.

I miss how my life was when I was happy...

Reorganizing

Hello everyone. I hope the world is treating you all well today...

Picked up my new shelves yesterday. Woot. I'm going to be setting them up today and work on reorganizing my room. I'm going to have to move my desk out of the closet and put my dresser in there and have the TV-stand/shelves on the one wall. It'll (hopefully) look nice once all is said and done...I just need to figure out what to do with the desk. Anyone want to buy a wooden desk?

I worked until 11:30 last night as a cashier - first time I've done that in about two years. It was kind of odd...and frustrating being the only cashier on for two hours. I survived though, but it was annoying none-the-less. I start my work in the Variety Department next week - that's going to be a rough transition, but I'll hopefully get into a stable sleep cycle after the first week.

Not much to say today really, nothing new and terribly exciting.  Going to see about trying to scan some of my old photos today. It's on the to-do list...we'll see if it gets done. For now, I am off to the basement to be productive and work on my room. Wish me luck! *Runs off*

Done Some Searching

I've done a lot of soul searching tonight...

Joshua's birthday party was earlier, I wasn't able to attend all of the festivities due to certain problems. I came home and rested, watched some Buffy DVDs, talked to a few friends and rested. Later, I began surfing online and somehow came upon the photo album of someone I don't much like. Flipping through the album I came to some realizations, powerful but overly simple in their design...

Flipping past pictures of parties and bar nights I was reminded of events over the past few years of my life. Nights wasted stressing over drunk individuals and searching for a fun night out. I was reminded about how I thought at the time that I liked that life, the person I was turning into, the people I spent my time with. In retrospect I'm disgusted with how far I fell. I allowed myself to transform into one of those heartless, shallow people that I look down upon...one of the people that I'm better then.

Yes you may be thinking that's a little harsh, but just bear with me a moment...

I strayed from who I really am, and started to become someone I didn't really like. I ended up losing some friends and eventually lost the one person I really loved in this world. I screwed up my life even more then it's screwed up now. Instead of dealing with it, I just blocked it out. I paid for that mistake...rather then dealing with it then I spent eight month fighting to become happy again. I struggled each day to feel again, to become the person I once was.

Tonight I realize that isn't possible. I can't turn back the clock and change into who I was. I am different then I was two years ago. I'm more experienced, wiser and a better person. I can look back and see how I've grown, and how I will continue to grow. Looking back at those pictures and all those people I can't stand I realize that I never again want to be part of that world. Instead I look to my own photos and see memories of the people I care about, the people I love.

Sure, life is hell right now, but I'll continue on. I'm stubborn and I don't give up...it's part of what makes me who I am. I'll keep on writing, and working and studying, and I'll live my life. I don't know if that'll be here in Winnipeg, in Ottawa or beyond...but it'll be my life, and sure it might not be perfect, and it might not be like how it was two years ago...but it'll be my life to live. Thanks Ty, for making me thinking about things in a different light.

Time to get some rest and prepare to face a new day...

Thoughts In The Morning

Almost six AM and no sleep in sight. I can't seem to shut off my brain; it just continues to play songs, run through scenarios and rehash the same old thoughts in a continual cycle. "Does anybody even notice? Does anybody even care?" I've been watching a fair amount of Buffy lately, and CSI...the last quote being from 'Once More With Feeling.' Music sometimes helps...sometimes it makes it worse.

Round and round my brain goes and no matter how hard I try, I can't attain any sort of rest. I can't silence the voices in my head. The clock reads 5:45AM currently, I should have been in bed long ago. Well, I've been in bed, but I should have been asleep long ago. I have classes in a few hours, and then work after that.

I've been playing my instruments more lately, piano and flute mostly. Gonna break out the clarinet on Friday if I get a chance before work. Work till midnight, with Terri. Joy, bitterness abounds. And so the unstable cycle continues as I spiral into madness. Lack of sleep leads to lack of sanity...or maybe it's the other way around, I don't know anymore.

5:50AM. Tick tock goes the Cat & Bird Clock. It makes sense, really it does.

I lack reasonable direction in my life. Looking back at once was my existance I knew what I wanted, what lay ahead. Tomorrow is now a mystery. I second guess every decision, every idea. Am I doing what's best for me? What is really the ideal choice, what will bring me closer to happiness? What is happiness? Right now happiness would be a decent night sleep.

I understand that my ramblings have become arbitrary and difficult to read as of late. As such I wish to apologize to anyone who even reads this anymore. 5:55AM. Still no sleep in sight. I know that a lot of what I am putting down in words makes no sense, or appears more nonsensicale then my usual updates and for that I am sorry. I'm sorry for a lot of things lately, but that is all I can apologize for at this juncture.

Birthdays are coming up soon, Joshua, my mother, Carla. Countless others really, but none that are significant to me. Happy Birthday, I hope you all get what you want; whether it be a gift, a trip in the tropical sun or true happiness. Just be content and enjoy your day. I had a great birthday, finished a novel, spent time with loved ones. That seems so long ago, like a lost dream. A very merry unbirthday to everyone else, by the way.

6:00AM, time to wrap this up. Randomness concluded, for now. I'll take another stab at sleep...maybe the voices will be a little calming this time around. Good night, or good morning...not really sure which is which anymore.

Get Those Juices Flowin'

Training to work in a new Department at work...not sure whether to consider that a curse or a blessing. I guess we'll find out in February. Stay tuned!

I've been singing to myself a lot lately, in the car mostly. I take my iPod with me almost anywhere I go, which is nice, I always have good music with me. I went shopping in St. Vital Centre yesterday, shopping to my own soundtrack, which was nice. Speaking of Soundtracks, I've updated the Aeternus, Season 1 info here on my site, and I'm currently beginning to compile music for Season 2. Woot. I'm also trying to compile a soundtrack for my novel writing, we'll see how that goes.

My creative juices have been flowing a lot more lately, something I'm glad about. My newest novel is based primarily in Ottawa, a protectorate of the Dominion of Canada and focuses on the adventures of Special Agent Liz Partridge (I'm still looking for a better name...suggestions welcome). The story begins with three familiar characters, Liz, Rafael Delauri (slightly re-written) and the ever frustrating Colin Faith. All of the other characters have been left behind in Winnipeg, while I endevour to refine my character building skills. We'll see how this newest project works out...

I think I'm going to sign up for NaNoWriMo in November 2006. A ways away, yes, but I need to think about it in advance. Thoughts?

Well it's about time I head off for now. As always, feedback is welcome. Take care, and hopefully in a few days I should have a profile for Liz for anyone who's interested. G'night!

Decision Time

Worked 1:30-5:30 today...yipee. It was f*ing freezing cold in the store.

I have to vote in less then a week and I'm still not really sure where my support lays. The more I read in the papers and online the more I struggle with my vote. On a provincial level the choice is easy...the NDP supports students more then any other party. On a Federal level though? My father seems to think the NDP "aren't in touch with reality," everyone is claiming the Liberals are corrupt...I refuse to go Conservative and well...what's left? We have a Green Party candidate. Ha! Yeah, right. Oh well, I guess I have a week to decide. Maybe some change is good...but Conservative change? I think not.

Day off tomorrow, excellent. Survive a few classes and then come home and relax. It'll be good.

I've been trying to eat healthier lately, for all the good it'll do me. I've been trying to cut out some of the greasier/fattier foods I normally eat, and I've seriously cut back on the sugar. I know, I know...I live off sugar, but it's going to kill me eventually. One slurpee in two weeks...wow. I'm still only really eating one (maybe two) meals a day, but at least they're healthier meals. I'm also trying to cut back on the pop...somewhat. We'll see if it helps at all.

Hmmm, tomorrow I should go running, maybe do some weights.

I've been working on some sort of "profile" for Liz, the main character in my two novels. I'm still in debates about her last name. Currently her name is Elizabeth Partridge, but honestly I don't like that name. Any suggestions for a last (and middle) name would be greatly appreciated. Once I figure out a suitable name I'll post a mini profile here on my MSN Space.

That's about it from me for now...have a nice night everyone. Rambling done.

Let's talk this over it's not like we're dead,
Was it something I did, was it something you said?
Don't leave me hanging in a city so dead,
Held up so high on such a breakable thread,


You were all the things I thought I knew, and I thought we could be,
You were everything everything that I wanted,
We were meant to be, supposed to be but we lost it,
All the memories so close to me just fade away,
All this time you were just pretending,
So much for my happy ending...

City of Ice

This morning I woke up to find the city covered in a thin layer of ice...beautiful and terrible.

I've had a rather blah weekend. Worked on Friday and Saturday, went out on Friday. Saturday I just slept and relaxed and from the look of it that's the plan for today as well. Worked until 6:15 today, as per usual on most Sundays. No big plans for the week so far, mostly just work. It's Joshua's birthday on Saturday.

Just watching CSI right now with Lizzy. She likes my space heater is seems. I've been watching a lot of TV lately, it's been keeping me occupied. I'm also continuing to slowly work on my second novel. It definitely won't be done in 31 days, but I'll get it done eventually. I've also been reading the Screenwriting Book Jackie got me (thanks BTW) and perhaps in time I'll get a screenplay off the ground. That'll be my objective for the summer months. Who knows, maybe one day soon I'll be a published novelist and screenwriter. Who knows.

I think if I can find a job, I might be moving to Ottawa...